Thursday, September 13, 2012

the joys of teaching

the joys of teaching are many...

This one speaks for itself.

Sorry if this is offensive. Welcome to 4th grade. Peeing fish. Embarrassing detail. A cross between human anatomy and marine biology.

It never gets old folks.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012


After our difficult weekend, it's Homecoming week at school.

I'm always in a funk after I don't have a normal weekend.  It's like I'm running on half a battery.  This week it feels like less.

I am still very much thinking about the funeral, the loss, the circumstances, the family.  It gives me less tolerance for the goofy stuff of this week.  The persepective I have during this moment isn't very forgiving of crazy 4th graders who are wearing sunglasses, hats, and hair dye.

I'm trying to embrace the lighter side of life. Hopefully I get better at this as the week goes on.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

I'm not sure what to title this post.
1. My weekend in Denver
2. What I now understand about Funerals
3. Funerals are a hard, but necessary part of life
4. Friends passing away at young ages sucks

Pick whichever one you like.

This weekend I took my first ever bereavement day.  As much as I love a three day weekend, I would have given this one back in a heartbeat.  Last Sunday, a friend of mine and Trevor's had a tragic accident in Colorado which resulted in him leaving earth too young.  He left a mom and dad, two brothers and a sister.

Let me start by saying that until this point, I could count the funerals I've attended on one hand. I've been very fortunate to have healthy friends and family, something I do not take for granted.

Several things about this weekend have been constantly on my mind this week.  The strongest is probably trying to wrap my mind around how I would feel if it was my brother.  There are no words for this. No picture I can think of, no actions that I would do or not do. It seems unreal to think of my life without the parallel of my brother's life, although states away. To think of holidays, the birth of grandchildren, major family events without a key piece is like a nightmare.

I think this is the reason that Trevor and I flew to Colorado to attend this funeral, to support our friend. All the way I wondered why funerals were necessary. I kept telling Trevor that if the family is miserable, and the attendees are feeling awkward, and the person the funeral for is not around to see it, why do we have funerals? This weekend that question was answered in the form of parents and siblings sharing stories, memories, and hurts. The love they felt no one questioned, the pauses to gain composure everyone respected. As we walked through a receiving line, caravaned to a cemetary, and gathered for a meal; hearts didn't mend, but were sewn together. 

I won't question anymore why people gather for these events. I won't forget the feeling of being there. I won't forget the guy with the permanent smile, endless grace, quiet wit. 

Monday, September 3, 2012

taking the time

a text message from a close friend shook our house today.

a horrible accident. a life gone too soon. a brother and son that will be greatly missed.

a man of character, of few words, of a giant smile.

a guy who went to church with us. two years my elder, a quiet presence

today I talked to people from my youth group I haven't had contact with in years.

reunited over a common loss.

i told my brother I loved him.  he knows i'm a proud big sis.

i know he puts himself in harms way for our nation

i know his safety isn't guaranteed

i send him love and hugs thousands of miles away

thru a text message

he understands

i'm taking the time today to thank God for my brothers. all of them.