I'm not sure what to title this post.
1. My weekend in Denver
2. What I now understand about Funerals
3. Funerals are a hard, but necessary part of life
4. Friends passing away at young ages sucks
Pick whichever one you like.
This weekend I took my first ever bereavement day. As much as I love a three day weekend, I would have given this one back in a heartbeat. Last Sunday, a friend of mine and Trevor's had a tragic accident in Colorado which resulted in him leaving earth too young. He left a mom and dad, two brothers and a sister.
Let me start by saying that until this point, I could count the funerals I've attended on one hand. I've been very fortunate to have healthy friends and family, something I do not take for granted.
Several things about this weekend have been constantly on my mind this week. The strongest is probably trying to wrap my mind around how I would feel if it was my brother. There are no words for this. No picture I can think of, no actions that I would do or not do. It seems unreal to think of my life without the parallel of my brother's life, although states away. To think of holidays, the birth of grandchildren, major family events without a key piece is like a nightmare.
I think this is the reason that Trevor and I flew to Colorado to attend this funeral, to support our friend. All the way I wondered why funerals were necessary. I kept telling Trevor that if the family is miserable, and the attendees are feeling awkward, and the person the funeral for is not around to see it, why do we have funerals? This weekend that question was answered in the form of parents and siblings sharing stories, memories, and hurts. The love they felt no one questioned, the pauses to gain composure everyone respected. As we walked through a receiving line, caravaned to a cemetary, and gathered for a meal; hearts didn't mend, but were sewn together.
I won't question anymore why people gather for these events. I won't forget the feeling of being there. I won't forget the guy with the permanent smile, endless grace, quiet wit.