Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Everyday Reminders

Today, as I was getting yelled at by another adult at school (an aide) I couldn't help but think about the way my students act.  I asked myself how could I expect my students to have tact, reply respectfully, tell the truth, and work things out when it's clear that the most of the adults in their life are not modeling this for them. 

I stood pondering the way this woman was addressing me, full of angry words that she had heard from someone else, using sarcasm to sting and make her point, not wanting to listen or understand my side of the story (which contained the missing piece of information she needed).  When I finally asked her if I could tell her what happened and after she took the time to calm down and listen she realized her anger wasn't with me. 

As I was driving home, feeling wronged by this lady and sad for the shape of society, I realized there are important lessons I want to teach Miles.

1. Loudest doesn't mean right.
2. Asking respectful questions is the best way to get answers.
3. When you have a problem with someone, you should go to them
4. Screaming makes you look childish, don't interrupt, wait for your turn and speak slowly.
5. Never say something in an argument that you will regret later
6. Understand your feelings. Embarrassed, hurt, sad, and disappointed sometimes disguise themselves as anger.
7. Keeping a calm demeanor is something that shows self-control
8. If you do get yelled at unfairly, remind yourself that no one is perfect. Give that person extra grace.
9. You can't undo your words. Choose them wisely or choose silence. Another opportunity will come up where you can discuss the subject again.
10. Conduct yourself in such a way people know your character and when it comes called into question, you have something to fall back on.

So tomorrow, I will meet this co-worker with a new day, feeling no regret or embarrassment about the way I handled myself.  I can not control the actions or words of others. Only my own.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Miles' middle name

Names are a big deal to us. I posted here about the guidelines we considered when selecting our son's name.  The more I tell people his name, the more we use it, the more I know it's the perfect name for our little guy.

On to the middle name.  Trevor and I spend/spent lots of time talking about the character of our son.  What our dreams are for him, as far as who we want him to be.  We care less about his talents and abilities, and more about his demeanor.  We always focus on the result when we talk about what type of parenting decision we will make.  It kind of goes with the famous saying "begin with the end in mind".  We focus on qualities we want our son to possess.

Some of our top are:
strong sense of self
quick to listen
willing to help others

There are many more, but those are some of the traits we talk about consistently.  This summer, we went to a funeral of a high school friend. On the plane ride there, we both talked endlessly of this guy and the memories we had of him.  Neither one of us could recall a time where he wasn't gracious, funny, willing to be a good friend, fiercely loyal to his family, an encourager.  We talked about how he handled himself in all of the high school situations we saw him in. 

We were completely unaware at the time that a tiny baby boy was growing.  He couldn't have been more than a week old.  But for some reason it was said aloud that if we ever had a son, we would want him to live his life, as Treff lived his.  I feel thankful that both Trevor and I had the privilege of knowing Treff and we share a lot of the same memories of him.

When we found out Miles was a boy, we knew the type of man we wanted him to grow to be like, so we decided to give him the middle name Owen.  He will share it with one of the best guys we know. We hope Miles Owen grows up knowing the name we chose for him comes with big shoes to fill.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

It's cold.

Freezing in fact.

With the cold weather outside, my students have been antsy.  Couple that with the impending test prep headed their way and it's a recipe for disaster.

Add to that the flu.  Today I had six students out. That brings my numbers WAY down and makes it seem useless to teach anything new.

OH! and we are learning long division.  funtimes.

On a non-griping non-school related note: I felt Miles kick today while I was standing up.  Previously I'd only felt him sitting/laying down.  Also, Ezra officially sleeps in his crate in Samson's room now.  We decided it was time to boot him from our room before the baby comes.  I could just imagine the circle of him barking/waking up the baby that would annoy the heck out of me and Trevor.  So, he's happily in his crate sleeping like a big boy! If only all our transitions in the future were as easy as this one!

Well, I'm off to drink up on the huge supply of WIC milk I qualify for. 

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Week 23

On January 7th, we got to see Miles again.  The doctor wanted to get a brain view he couldn't find last time due to the angle of the baby in my stomach.  I am normally very excited about these appointments, but on this day I wasn't feeling great.  I had been fighting a cold and I got really hot in the office waiting for the doctor, which made me feel worse. I was up 7 lbs. 

Miles loves to have his feet by his face. He also loves to move them constantly.  He covered his face with them most of the time we were having the ultrasound.  The picture below is one of the best views of his face (with his foot). I'm not sure where he got that flexibility. I'm not sure where he gets his energy either. 

 As cool as it is to see my boy's face the parts I'm most thankful for are these healthy brain and heart shots. I knew when we had the anatomy appointment it was a lot more than just a gender reveal, it was checking all our punk's major organs.  Hearing that he was healthy and that everything was measuring perfectly was the best Christmas present ever.

I think I may have successfully curved the heartburn and the congestion this week.  I'm feeling kicks, pushes, rolls, and flutters hourly.  My students address Miles by name and ask how he feels about certain things we are doing. It's fun to interpret for him based on his movements. They also are extra concerned about me around the classroom, wanting to carry things, not wanting me standing on chairs to reach boxes etc.  During our lock-down drill two of my boys barricaded me between three desks for extra protection.

On a different note, we had a great time with our familes at Christmas. I took this picture of the stocking on my side of the family.  (My mom and dad's are not shown, they are hanging above ours)  I can't wait to see Miles' stocking hanging with the rest next year! I also love the time my mom has put into making each of these.

The last Rumker photo of the 8 of us.  Yes, our first gift on Christmas Eve is matching shirts and pj pants. I love how my mom buys extra pair of adult pants and sews the grand kid pants to match. My parents have always made Christmas special and full of tradition. I can't wait for Miles to get to experience it.  I barely look pregnant here. I am 39 inches around currently (thanks to my students' bar graph, I know this). Oh yeah, my hair looks awesome here because my sister-in-law cut and straightened it! Thanks Tai!

Here's to a healthy and adventurous 2013.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Just to remember

I feel like no one warned me about pregnancy.  I said that a lot during the first trimester.  All I saw what happy moms with expanding tummies on facebook.  Then came the gender reveal, and the baby shower. Then finally a picture of the new baby with happy mom and dad.  I kid you not when I tell you most of the moms had make-up on their first picture with baby!

While my stomach is exanding, I'm not really a week-by-week picture taker.  I take pictures when it's normal to.  My materity shots will be of family Thanksgivings and Christmas.

The first trimester I couldn't stand the thought or sight or smell of certain foods.  I was tired ALL. THE. TIME. 

Then came the period where I was so thirsty I thought I was going to have a panic attack when our 5 gallon water bottle ran out.

Then came the "I'm gonna wet my pants but I can only pee 3 tablespoons"

Next is ice-pick through the chest heartburn.  Avoiding things I love, like tea, chocolate, and orange juice just so I don't think i'm having a heart attack.

Now I've moved on to this stupid cold for the last 3 weeks.  Normally I'd take some medicine and suck it up, but I'm coming to discover that my doctor (whom I love) is more of a safe than sorry guy and he says I'll be okay. Sure. Tell that to the pregnant gal who can't sleep because she can't breathe.

Now I do realize that none of these symptoms are out of the ordinary; and moms have been doing this since the beginning of time.  I think they may forget about them when they see that smushed up gooey face for the first time. 

So this is an effort to remember. The good kicks and wiggles, the uncomfortable symptoms that in the early weeks that convienced me I was indeed growing a baby, and the ugly no coffee, pimples everywhere, excuse me while I eat this bottle of tums momma that I'm becoming.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Week 22

I'm sliding into acceptance that I may actually be due May 8th.  Or Mayth as I've come to refer to it.

Miles kicks and pushes up a storm these days.  Sometimes it catches me off guard and makes me gasp.  He especially likes right after I've eaten and in the evening.  I hope I'm not dealing with some night-owl because this mama LOVES to go to bed early.

My students started a "Mrs. Howard's big belly baby bar graph" before we left for Christmas Break.  I measured 36 inches around the fattest part of my stomach.  I wonder how many inches I'll have grown when we go back to school next week.  (They named it all on their own)

When I went to the doc on Dec. 19th. I had gained a total of 3 lbs. We'll see how much I've packed on (due to Christmas and sitting a whole lot) when I go in on the 7th.

Miles now owns: 1 pack and play, 2 outfits, 1 package of diapers, 2 toys, and around 30 books. I feel like that's a good ratio for all his needs. :)

I'm ready for warmer weather as pregnancy has made me COLD! I'm NEVER cold and I can't say I'm a fan.

Good news: Coffee and I are friends again. 

Bad news: figuring out what baby items I actually NEED is stressful. But with this tiny living space, and budget, we need to be purposeful in what we accumulate.