I was raised conservative Republican. My dad will be the first to say, everyone should work to earn what they need to live. There shouldn't be hand-outs to people who do not need them. There should be strict rules for people receiving this aid. Now, regardless of what your opinion is or what you think Jesus would do, let me present you our example; by the numbers.
WIC- Government issued 'checks' for pregnant women or mothers and children. Lists specific items that you must get. All dairy, whole grain, fruit and veggies, and proteins. Approximate value: $60/month
Soonercare: Government insurance (Medicaid)
Trevor, Miles, and I qualify for both being full time students and Trevor working part time.
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My potential take home Teaching salary- 2200
Trevor's part time salary - 600 *we use this money for groceries, gas, and other living expenses)
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Insurance cost if I work: Me- covered by school, Trevor and Miles 700/month thru school (Trevor doesn't qualify for insurance through CVS because he doesn't work enough hours. He already drives 45 miles each way so adding more days of work would be impractical)
Childcare cost- 600-750/month
Gas- 320/month
So 2200 (amount we would use to pay our bills)
-1700 (cost to work, approximately)
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500
And to me, 500 isn't worth being away from Miles 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. Not to even mention how much WORK teaching is. :)
And that's why we temporarily accept state aid. I understand that when Trevor graduates we will immediately be ineligible for all the above listed services. I would also like to add we don't abuse the services above. :)
About to get schooled in motherhood.
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Mid-morning thoughts (week 11)
11 days. This is the longest stretch of being at our house we've had since Miles was born! Crazy huh? His first nine weeks were spent making trips 4 trips to and from Missouri. I wouldn't have traded these trips for anything, Miles got to meet so many of his family members and friends that aren't here in Oklahoma. Trevor and I also love the support and fun we get to have while we are in Missouri. We got to fish, go shopping, even nap while our parents watched Miles.
Having a forced slow down has caused a little bit of a change in my parenting. While I used to be a 'lay him down for every nap and get stuff done parent', I've found myself realizing that this may be the only baby I can hold for naps. Assuming we have more children, the next babies will always have to have their needs balanced with their older siblings.
I've also got to see Miles' natural napping patterns. He is a morning and mid-morning napper. He wakes up around 6:30-7:30 every morning and eats. He goes back to sleep until around 9:30-10 and then eats and naps some more. He wakes up around noon and wants to eat again. He sleeps until 2 pm and then is up for the afternoon. He will stay awake until 8-10 pm when he goes down for the night.
He is growing up quickly these days. He has started being really interested in toys and his surroundings. A lot of his awake time is spent playing with me or by himself.
He stares at the hanging toys and then slowly and deliberately reaches for them.
He's started gripping toys and reaching for my phone
He's so alert and has even decided he thinks he likes the pups. Who surprisingly, give him his own space most of the time.
Every day he seems to learn something new. Exciting times!
Monday, July 8, 2013
Miles' birth story
Monday, April 22 I went to my regular OB appointment. At this point I'd been on a relaxed bed rest for a week because of a blood pressure spike at 36 weeks. I had 4 non-stress tests and all had shown the baby to be good, and trace amounts of protein in my urine. Basically, I was the one having health problems, not Miles so we continued to just monitor the situation closely.
At this appointment my blood pressure was still higher than they wanted it (150s/90s) I knew something was different when my doctor came in and sat down. He told me that up to this point, the baby had been better off inside of me, but he was growing concerned that the placenta was taking blood away from the baby. He went on to say that if we didn't deliver soon, he wasn't sure how the baby would handle the labor. All that flashed through my mind was C-section and how I DID NOT want one. He sent me to get another non-stress test.
I texted Trevor, my parents, and my in-laws to tell them the current standings and that I was in a hospital gown, with an IV port. This is not how I envisioned my labor starting. As the test results came back, everything was the same as it had been my doctor sort of left the ball in my court. I decided that I would much rather be induced now, when both me and the baby could deal with labor, then to hold out and possibly have to have surgery.
I was started on Pitocin about 3:00 on Monday afternoon. The nurse came and raised it every 15 minutes. They told me that most people are crawling out of bed and screaming for medicine before it gets to 20ml/hour. So I waited. Trevor came, parents started their drive to Oklahoma. By 9:00 I was up to the max dose of 40ml/hour. I could feel my stomach tightening, but no pain. I KNEW this couldn't be labor.
I had opted for the doctor to not break my water, because I didn't want all the internal monitoring, catheter, etc. By 11:00pm my body was no longer responding to the Pitocin so they stopped the pump and Trevor and I went to sleep. They planned to start it up at 3:00am the next morning after my body had been flushed of it.
Morning came, more Pitocin and still no labor. I hadn't dilated at all from the 1cm I started out. I sent the boys to the house to do some repairs and stayed at the hospital with my mom and mother-in-law. At 10:30am the doctor came in and asked again about breaking my water. At this point I was feeling a lot of pressure to just have the baby since everyone had driven from Missouri to see him. So I agreed. By the time I was prepped for this it was 11:15.
OUCH. It was a lot more 'water' than I thought it would be. It hurt to have him break it because I wasn't dilated very far and he was ramming this crochet hook looking thing up there. When he started I was a 'stretchy 1' and when he finished breaking my water I was a 3. Then they hooked up some internal monitors. The nurse started cleaning up the mess and when she was finished with that (about 15 minutes later) I was a 6. Then the contractions started. They came solid. I didn't want any one talking except to tell me when it was almost over. I also remember asking my mom to get Trevor to come back. The nurse came into check on me a few minutes later, and I decided that I wanted some pain medicine.
After I was done with getting hooked up with the good stuff, the nurse checked me again. I was a 10! She said she would call the doctor and let him know I was a 9.5 so it would give Miles a little more time to descend. His heart rate was also dropping a little during this time because everything was happening so fast so they hooked me up with some oxygen and had me lay on my side. Trevor finally made it back, having missed all the excitement, and I was starting to feel a little better.
At 12:30 the Dr. Hensley came in rolling this big table of tools. EEk. I got put in the stirrups and Dr. Hensley announced that he could see Miles' hair. So both moms took a peak and I felt down there and yep, sure enough hair! I gave a practice push and the nurse told me I was a natural. I pushed through the next 3 contractions, 3 pushes each. And then he was here! 1:09 pm. They slopped him up on my stomach right away and we started wiping him down.
After a few minutes they asked if they could take him and get him all cleaned up and checked out since he was early. I hung out getting stitched up while Trevor and our moms accompanied Miles across the room to the warmer to get weighed, measured, and stats. He was eventually returned to me for skin-to-skin because his temperature was lower then they wanted it to be. (97.9) After we were piled with warm blankets both grandpas and uncle Travis came in to check out Miles.
About and hour later he was warm enough to be passed around and got to meet all the people who love him the most! Welcome baby boy!
At this appointment my blood pressure was still higher than they wanted it (150s/90s) I knew something was different when my doctor came in and sat down. He told me that up to this point, the baby had been better off inside of me, but he was growing concerned that the placenta was taking blood away from the baby. He went on to say that if we didn't deliver soon, he wasn't sure how the baby would handle the labor. All that flashed through my mind was C-section and how I DID NOT want one. He sent me to get another non-stress test.
I texted Trevor, my parents, and my in-laws to tell them the current standings and that I was in a hospital gown, with an IV port. This is not how I envisioned my labor starting. As the test results came back, everything was the same as it had been my doctor sort of left the ball in my court. I decided that I would much rather be induced now, when both me and the baby could deal with labor, then to hold out and possibly have to have surgery.
I was started on Pitocin about 3:00 on Monday afternoon. The nurse came and raised it every 15 minutes. They told me that most people are crawling out of bed and screaming for medicine before it gets to 20ml/hour. So I waited. Trevor came, parents started their drive to Oklahoma. By 9:00 I was up to the max dose of 40ml/hour. I could feel my stomach tightening, but no pain. I KNEW this couldn't be labor.
I had opted for the doctor to not break my water, because I didn't want all the internal monitoring, catheter, etc. By 11:00pm my body was no longer responding to the Pitocin so they stopped the pump and Trevor and I went to sleep. They planned to start it up at 3:00am the next morning after my body had been flushed of it.
(not feeling a thing)
OUCH. It was a lot more 'water' than I thought it would be. It hurt to have him break it because I wasn't dilated very far and he was ramming this crochet hook looking thing up there. When he started I was a 'stretchy 1' and when he finished breaking my water I was a 3. Then they hooked up some internal monitors. The nurse started cleaning up the mess and when she was finished with that (about 15 minutes later) I was a 6. Then the contractions started. They came solid. I didn't want any one talking except to tell me when it was almost over. I also remember asking my mom to get Trevor to come back. The nurse came into check on me a few minutes later, and I decided that I wanted some pain medicine.
After I was done with getting hooked up with the good stuff, the nurse checked me again. I was a 10! She said she would call the doctor and let him know I was a 9.5 so it would give Miles a little more time to descend. His heart rate was also dropping a little during this time because everything was happening so fast so they hooked me up with some oxygen and had me lay on my side. Trevor finally made it back, having missed all the excitement, and I was starting to feel a little better.
At 12:30 the Dr. Hensley came in rolling this big table of tools. EEk. I got put in the stirrups and Dr. Hensley announced that he could see Miles' hair. So both moms took a peak and I felt down there and yep, sure enough hair! I gave a practice push and the nurse told me I was a natural. I pushed through the next 3 contractions, 3 pushes each. And then he was here! 1:09 pm. They slopped him up on my stomach right away and we started wiping him down.
Saturday, July 6, 2013
Week 10 (2 month well-visit)
Miles,
When I look at you lately, I'm in shock at how big you got all of a sudden. You seem to have really alert days followed by sleepy days. You and I have had lots of time together as dad is doing his hospital pharmacy rotation. We've been reading Shel Silverstein poems, working on my master's degree, and meeting friends for a picnic.
Here is your month two, broken up by weeks. I can tell the biggest difference in your face. You also don't hold your legs close to your body much anymore. It makes you look a lot longer. We went to your two month well-visit, July 2. You were 10lbs 4oz and 23 inches long. Your head was 41 cm around! Dr. Long was very happy with your weight gain and growth. You met all your 2 month milestones. You can grasp your hands, lift your chin off the ground when you are laying on your stomach, babble, smile, make eye contact, and turn your head toward a noise.
You also got your shots. You did really great and you were only a little fussy that day. The next day all you wanted to do was breastfeed. It wore me out, but you seemed happy when you were eating. I felt like human pacifier! All that being said, you still won't take a bottle. You haven't in over a week at all. You've probably had 3 bottles in the last month. I won't lie, now that you've got the hang of nursing, it's a lot easier than pumping all the time. It's faster at night.
You've been sleeping 6 hours at night in a row the first stretch. After you eat you sleep another 3ish before you are up for the day. Oh, how I wish you'd sleep 4-5 more after that feeding. Mama is tired!
When I look at you lately, I'm in shock at how big you got all of a sudden. You seem to have really alert days followed by sleepy days. You and I have had lots of time together as dad is doing his hospital pharmacy rotation. We've been reading Shel Silverstein poems, working on my master's degree, and meeting friends for a picnic.
You have been practicing your smile some more. I think this is my favorite one. It's the way your big smiles start. I had to try hard to capture it. You were looking straight at me and just babbling and grinning like crazy. I love the shape of your face, and your semi-chunky cheeks. Your hair seems a little longer lately, but still doesn't show up in photos much.
Here is your month two, broken up by weeks. I can tell the biggest difference in your face. You also don't hold your legs close to your body much anymore. It makes you look a lot longer. We went to your two month well-visit, July 2. You were 10lbs 4oz and 23 inches long. Your head was 41 cm around! Dr. Long was very happy with your weight gain and growth. You met all your 2 month milestones. You can grasp your hands, lift your chin off the ground when you are laying on your stomach, babble, smile, make eye contact, and turn your head toward a noise.
You've been sleeping 6 hours at night in a row the first stretch. After you eat you sleep another 3ish before you are up for the day. Oh, how I wish you'd sleep 4-5 more after that feeding. Mama is tired!
You also had your first fourth of July. You had a great time hanging out with Kim and Morgan while all the guys played video games. You are truly more fun every day! We love you bubula!
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Humble Pie (weeks 8-9)
Miles,
You've been serving up one piece of humble pie after another lately. As someone who has cared for babies and children the better part of half of my life, you stump me. You are by far the fussiest baby I've ever cared for. You cry about 80% of the time during feedings. You hate getting burps stuck and scream until they come out! This is counter productive because screaming causes you to swallow more air. I try to tell you this, but you are crying so loud I'm sure you can't hear me.
You've had a busy couple of weeks. It started out with trip to Missouri, with intentions of heading to NY to see your Aunt Tai and Uncle Michael and cousins, David and Kaia. Well, Pops got a kidney stone so you spent lots of time with Grammy and Papa.
Probably the most notable thing that happened this week is that you started flashing us smiles.
before....
after!
And it looks good on you!
You've been serving up one piece of humble pie after another lately. As someone who has cared for babies and children the better part of half of my life, you stump me. You are by far the fussiest baby I've ever cared for. You cry about 80% of the time during feedings. You hate getting burps stuck and scream until they come out! This is counter productive because screaming causes you to swallow more air. I try to tell you this, but you are crying so loud I'm sure you can't hear me.
You've had a busy couple of weeks. It started out with trip to Missouri, with intentions of heading to NY to see your Aunt Tai and Uncle Michael and cousins, David and Kaia. Well, Pops got a kidney stone so you spent lots of time with Grammy and Papa.
We came back to Oklahoma to pick Suzanne up from the airport. I wonder when you will really figure out that Suzanne gave birth to me, like I gave birth to you. But your Gramma is my mom, like I'm your mom. We have decided that Suzanne will be your Nana. She thinks your pretty cool. The main development when she was visiting is that you decided you were done with bottles. You've been breastfeeding 99% of the time since.
Then we went back to Missouri to house sit. You got to swim some more. Here you are before and after.
Probably the most notable thing that happened this week is that you started flashing us smiles.
before....
after!
And it looks good on you!
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Week 7
Miles,
Most of the time when I decide to take your picture I envision what your future wife will want in your wedding slide show. Then I wonder if people will even have slide shows at their weddings in 25 years. (yes I'm planning on you being at least 25 when you get married) You are such a good sport when it comes to me taking your pictures, riding in the car, going different places. You are filling out your cheeks, legs, and arms.
You have the most adorable double chin. This week you grew eyebrows and longer eye lashes! You have wrinkles around your arm pits, elbows, neck, and one side of your forehead. When I see your adorable little baby armpits I can't fathom the day where they will smell like goats. The reason your shirt is unbuttoned is because when it was buttoned it swallowed up your neck.
I can't wait until you smile on purpose. You smiled unknowingly and giggle when you are sleeping. You are much more aware lately of who is holding you. You don't really enjoy waking up and not recognizing who's got you. You are happiest when you are being held or in the baby carrier. You are still only sleeping 3.5-4 hour stretches at night. You are on a loose schedule because we've traveled so much. Once dad starts school again we will be more predictable.
In a few days you will be 2 months old. I can't believe you've been around 56 days. It has flown by, but we try to treasure every moment. That's sometimes difficult to do when you are awake 3 times in a night, or you are screaming for apparently no reason. We are learning together, and you are patient with us, most of the time.
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Week 6
Miles,
You are 6 weeks old and quite the little man. You have such a fun personality. You chatter and make noises most of the time you are awake. Maybe it's from listening to me teach for 9 months. You think it's normal to talk all day. Another side-effect of you listening to me talk all day in my stomach, you expect me to talk to you all day now. You get upset when you don't hear my voice. It proves to be a problem some times when others are holding you or I have to leave the room.
You are still our little 'Bubula'. I hope someday you won't hate this nickname. You also are known as 'Rootie, Tootie Sticky Booty'. You are getting really good at controlling your neck. You are awake as much as you are asleep. You still hate swinging in your swing. You like your rock and play, boppy, and most of all your baby carrier. You also are doing great making eye contact. You can turn your head the way you hear noise coming from. You love to be read to.
You are getting ready to leave for our big car trip to New York. I'm a little worried about you riding in the car that long. You seem to get gas bubbles in your stomach when you are in your car seat for extended periods of time. We love you more each day!
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