Saturday, July 23, 2011

Universal Truths about Men

.... or at least the one I live with.

  1. Men are not able to trim their toe-nails to be smooth. They are always cut to a point, to stab their bed-sharer.

  2. Men do not handle illness well. Even if the female has the same symptoms, the male feels worse, and therefore can not get his own drink. It's impossible for him to lift a finger while he is still feeling so under the weather. He can however, get enough strength up to serve himself ice cream, and change the channel.

  3. When a man says "What are we having for dinner tonight?" He means- What are you going to fix me for dinner"

  4. Even though the trash comes on the same day every week, a man might forget to put the trash can out, if not reminded. When reminded he will say, "I know". However, the one week that he is not reminded, he will blame his forgetfulness on the fact that you didn't remind him.

  5. When the dog pees in the floor, he's the wife's dog. When the dog barks early in the morning, he's the wife's dog. When the dog is sleeping in his lap, it's his dog.

  6. When Men work all day, they expect to get to lay around all evening. When a woman works all day, they are expected to make dinner, do the dishes, and pick up after the 'hard working male' in the evening.

  7. 2 back to back episodes on TLC is clearly unacceptable, 2 days of straight Stargate DVDs = fun!


  1. Welcome to married life. You haven't finished training him yet, but truthfully there isn't much left to do. =)